“City of Thieves: — a Jay Book Review

“City of Thieves” by David Benioff

Recently I stumbled upon “City of Thieves” in a book store.  Although I’d read a series of shorts stories by the book’s author David Benioff, I had no emotional ties to this particular novel.  Nevertheless, I read the flap and decided that a story about a teenager and young deserter set during World War II might prove to be interesting.  I was worried about the historical component of the book.  Was I really interested in details of the siege of Leningrad by the brutal Nazis?  Did I want to spend part of my summer reading a historical drama involving the horrors of war especially as it pertained to the Russian element?

Ultimately, I caved and began reading the adventures of seventeen year old Lev Beniov.  As the story began, Lev watched mesmerized as a parachuting German plummeted to the ground near the desolate apartment building where he resided.  Upon reaching the German after the landing nearby, Lev and his young friends discovered that the soldier was dead (apparently frozen).  Lev removed a knife from the pocket of the corpse as his friends took other personal belongings from the dead Nazi.  However, Russian soldiers caught Lev and arrested him for looting as his friends escaped.  Lev was thrown into a bleak prison with a young deserter named Kolya.  Both young men faced a potential death sentence for their actions.  After surviving a night in prison, Lev and Kolya were taken to a Soviet colonel.  Instead of death or even punishment, the Soviet colonel directed the young men to find him a dozen eggs for his daughter’s wedding cake.  The war torn city was isolated, barren and desolate.  There was virtually no food and some inhabitants had even resorted to cannibalism to survive.  How would Lev and Kolya find a dozen eggs?  Thus began one of the most intense, tragic, emotional, roller coaster tales I have ever read.  This is the type of book that should be used to turn people onto the magic of reading good books.  In addition, this is a man’s book.  No chick lit, romance, soap opera, quirkiness in this work of art!  Many of my favorite books have been written by women.  However, I was really in the mood for a book written by a man that was expressly geared for a male audience.  So female authors; PLEASE don’t take offense.  Young Lev grew from a boy into a man throughout the course of the adventure and faced enough tragedy and suffering for a hundred lifetimes.  Despite the atrocities Lev endured on his journey with Kolya, he ultimately transformed physically, spiritually and morally into quite a man.  Like I said, this novel was written for men (particularly teens and up).  I’m not saying that women won’t like it.  I’m just saying that the perspective was uniquely masculine, and the story was told completely from Lev’s point of view.  Macho mentality all the way!  Kolya for example was a handsome womanizing soldier accused of desertion.  But in reality, his real vice involved his other controlling entity residing between his legs.  No matter how bleak a situation became, Kolya always made time to deal with his favorite appendage and all of its needs, wants and fantasies.  This made for some comedic episodes in an otherwise terrifying ordeal.  Unlike Kolya, Lev had barely discovered, let alone explored, his urges around females.  Lev’s priorities were food, shelter and sleep, and his fight for survival overshadowed many typical male yearnings.  Pairing Lev with Kolya was masterful and immensely entertaining to read (surely a movie will be made from Benioff’s masterpiece).  When the pair encountered an assassin, and then traveled through harsh, frozen, Russian terrain with the new companion, things really began to heat up.  The novel also had a fantastic, rewarding yet heartrending finale.  You have to read this novel!

This will be in my list of top ten books that I will have my own sons read someday.  Hopefully “City of Thieves” will transform them as well as entertain them immensely.  I’m having a fantastic year with my choice of books so far.  Each book seems to top the prior.  This is my favorite book of 2009 so far and perhaps one of my top ten books of all time.

Jay’s Grade:  A+++

I also enjoyed the book:  “Shatter” by Michael Robotham.  If you are in the mood for a crafty thriller, this might be the book for you.

Kathy, Drew & Ron Do Death Defying Drop @ KennyWood Park — June 20, 2009

Kathy, Drew and Uncle Ron on KennyWood’s Sky Ride — June 20, 2009

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Josh’s View of a Swim Meet (June 2009)

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Early Summer Entertainment Options – June 9, 2009

Surveillance

Directed by Jennifer Lynch

Starring:  Julia Omond and Bill Pullman

I was given the unique opportunity to see “Surveillance” prior to its theatrical release on June 26, 2009.  The story was wicked and intense but the underlying attraction came from the actors assembled to portray entertainingly complex personalities.  I found the title of the movie to be a bit elusive considering the horrific plot line.  A better name for this flick would have been “WHEN BADDER THINGS HAPPEN TO BAD PEOPLE”.  Those of you who decide to watch this movie must be prepared to batten down the hatches and hold on for dear life.  The psychopathic killers were motivated by the sheer thrill of torture so be prepared for some violence and horror.  By the end of the thriller, I was totally entranced by the performances provided by Omond and Pullman.  They were delicious.  Omond, in particular, utilized her beautiful hair to illustrate the many nuances of her character as an FBI agent.  The supporting roles were also satisfying including Pell James, Ryan Simpkins, French Stewart, Kent Harper, Kyle Briere, Hugh Dillon and Gill Gayle.

Jay’s Grade:  A-

Hangover

I had a stressful weekend.  I ran my first swim meet as a Hytek software operator.  A colleague’s husband died suddenly.  I made a nice dinner for my family and nobody showed up to eat it.  And for some bizarre reason, for many years now, I have experienced  an unexplainable ‘down’ the first few days after a school year closes.  I know it makes no sense!  The perfect cure to my doldrums seemed to be a “Hangover” (the movie not the condition).  Unlike many comedies lately, the trailers didn’t reveal all of the film’s humor thus leaving nothing for the big screen.  In fact, the story actually was a bit more heartfelt than I expected.  I laughed from the start to the finish (make sure you stay for the final credits to see the photos from the wild Vegas night).  I so, so needed to laugh and this flick delivered.  My favorite guffaw moment occurred during a rooftop Jagermeister toast before the crazy night of debauchery even began to unfold.  The soon to be brother-in-law stole the entire movie starting with his toast and continuing throughout the whole ordeal via numerous hilarious antics.  Virtually every mirthful moment involved this character.  So if you need a laugh, go see “Hangover”.

Jay’s Grade:  A-

The Mystic Arts of Erasing All Signs of Death

By Charlie Huston

Suppose you just want to escape into a good book.  You could do much worse than reading the latest novel from cool author Charlie Huston.  Just who does clean up after a suicide?  Who removes the ‘yuck’ from a homicide scene after CSI has done its work?  The novel introduces us to an ex-teacher named Webster Fillmore Goodhue just as he joins a messy corpse clean up team.  It doesn’t take long for Web to inadvertently get involved in a crime caper with typical Huston thrills and chills.  I’m also fairly sure that Huston will resurrect Web and his clean team for more novels in the future.  Overall, the story was an entertaining and diabolically fun and frivolous read.

Jay’s Grade:  A-

DVD Options:

The Wrestler

I loved watching Mickey Rourke in Darren Aronofsky’s awesome movie “The Wrestler”.  Although I have still not seen “Milk”, I find it incredibly difficult to believe that Sean Penn gave a better performance than Rourke.  My favorite scene involved Rourke’s job at a meat deli.  He sold the lunch meat with the same bravado and charisma in which he exhibited insane wrestling moves in the ring.  However, when we see him working the same job in a later scene, Rourke realized that he didn’t fit into any real world (normal) occupation.  Mickey’s aged but amazingly built torso was also totally convincing on the wrestling stage.  One bloody fight was mesmerizing yet totally gross.  Additionally, Mickey’s interaction with his neglected daughter (played impeccably by Evan Rachel Wood) was acting eye candy and added more layers to the story.  I was also totally knocked out by Marisa Tomei in a supporting role.  While stripping for an audience at a night club, Tomei’s character looked out into the crowd with an utterly convincing countenance of washed up pitiful despair.  Unfortunately I wasn’t in that audience, because there was no way I would have overlooked her stunning body despite her age.  Nevertheless, she sold that moment, and was completely vulnerable.  What an amazing performance!  This is also the first movie I have ever watched entirely on an IPOD.  Although depressing, the powerhouse performance by Rourke must be experienced.

Jay’s Grade:  A

Gran Torino

I avoided this movie for so long because I heard it was a depressing story about a racist bigot.  I’ve been around enough Archie Bunker’s in my life, and seeing one on screen did not appeal to me in the least. However, I wasn’t prepared for the hilarity of Clint Eastwood’s interactions with every ethnicity on the planet, and I wasn’t prepared for the intense emotional content that kept me riveted to the film.  I savored every scene in this amazing movie, and Clint was at the top of his game both as an actor and as a director.  Wow!

Jay’s Grade:  A

June 9, 2009

Drew & Trent & Living on a Prayer

I’ve often wondered what makes Rock Band so much fun.  Is it because you can show off talent?  No!  Is it because you can pretend to have talent?  Not really.  Is it because you can pretend that you aren’t really tone death? Yeah, that might be closer to the truth.  With out further ado, here is Drew and Trent performing “Living on a Prayer”:

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MayDay — Yohe Family @ Hershey Park During a Temporary Rain Hiatus

It was Friday May, 1, 2009 and most of the day was rainy.  However, during a beautiful three hour hiatus; Drew, finally tall enough to conquer height restrictions at the ripe old age of 8, was ready to ride some of Hershey Park’s best coasters.  This is the Yohe Family at Hershey Park during the only three hour window without rain:

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April Weather in the Eighties – 2009

Neighborhood kids enjoy early warm weather:

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Jays’ Crazy Life – April 22, 2009

Hospitality Not, Withdrawn Laugh, Amazing Quick Growing Stubble & Emergency Towels

Everybody in my life knows that things happen to me on a regular basis that defy logic, challenge coincidence and prove God’s sense of humor.  I had four incidents since Sunday that I felt compelled to share with all of you.

Hospitality Not:

I attended a seminar at my church on hospitality this Sunday.  I am a member of my church’s hospitality team and we have periodic training to help us better welcome members and guests to our services.  The training was hosted by a parent of one of my ex-Honor’s Algebra II students (he withdrew from school this year hopefully not due to my class or my teaching).  As I went to sit down in the pew at the back of the church, one of the attendees quickly slid next to me, and I sat on her leg.  I was less than happy with my instinctual response of; ‘back off already‘.  The rude comment came from the dark side of my soul.  I’ve often envisioned entering the Sanctuary with all of my demons hanging on for dear life.  Upon entering sacred ground, each demon either grasped onto my body with a firm hold or was scattered off into the abyss.  On a good Sunday, I’m able to shake many of Satan’s spirits off.  Be gone pride!  Good riddance impatience!  Farewell addictions.  Somehow, on this particular Sunday, one of my demons held on much longer than usual and reared its ugly face.  Thankfully, I was quick on my feet.  I was able to cover up my irritable comment with a wink and a smile.  Unless fast-sliding-too-close-for-comfort lady finds and reads my Blog, she will never know that the comment was my actual innate response and anything but hospitable.  As the seminar concluded, the Algebra Mom asked us for comments.  Many people shared their ideas on how we could be more hospitable.  I felt like everybody had contributed something worthwhile.  So I raised my hand to add my remarks:

“My advice is that you prepare for the unexpected.  I had to carry an old lady into the church after we had a freak ice storm.  She was frightened and nearly incapacitated, so I had to hold her in an awkward position (I used my hands and body to illustrate the peculiar stance I used to carry the lady).  It wasn’t pretty.  Ultimately, my sons and I ended up holding, carrying and dragging many people across the ice-covered parking lot.  So come to your station with the idea that you will do anything necessary to help people with problems while still trying to be hospitable.”

Instantly I realized that my comment was lame.  Although the ice storm did cause a crazy scenario (I’m sure I’ve written of this before), it hardly offered much in the way of useful dialog.  Maybe somebody else would talk and my meaningless comments could be overlooked.  An elderly lady in the session reached over and tapped me on the shoulder.  She said; “I remember that son.  I was the old lady you carried.  What was awkward about the way you had to hold me?”

The band began to play in church, and the greeters for that service needed us to move in order to seat people.  I quickly stood up and thanked Algebra Mom.  I slipped through the participants while ignoring every outstretched hand that wanted to clasp my fingers.  Without saying goodbye to anybody, I escaped into the far reaches of the church to find my sons at their Sunday school classes.

Withdrawn Laugh:

I reluctantly took part in a mock “American Idol” skit at my school.  I was one of the judges.  I wanted to post some of the videos on my Blog but cross-platform Apple/PC technology prevented proper ripping to the required format for Internet viewing.  I was not given a script, so I decided to use all math related humor when I chastised contestants on the show.  Admittedly, this humor would be lost on all students below Algebra II and perhaps even some of the staff as well.  I didn’t care.  If I got one Calculus kid to smile, that would be all the reward I needed.  Besides, I wasn’t given a script!  In the last skit, I stopped a singer before he was done by yelling “Eureka!“  I followed that up with the following banter:

“I didn’t mean that in a good sense.  I actually meant that you reek a bunch… Do you know what complex conjugates are?  Do you?  Well, like your potential career in music, they are imaginary!”

When the skit aired in school this week, one of my advanced Algebra students laughed out loud in his homeroom at my comment.  He quickly realized that most of the kids didn’t get the humor and in fact thought that Mr. Yohe was just a big unfunny loser with an ‘L‘ on his forehead.  The homeroom was dead silent other than the one hysterical screech of hilarity.  The student had to find a way to pull back the laughter or face the ridicule of his classmates.  He didn’t tell me how he did it, but the Honor’s Algebra II student managed to successfully withdraw the laugh so as not to appear to think that the Yohe dude was actually funny.  I’m almost positive that he found a creative way to go from laughing with Mr. Yohe to laughing at the dweeb mathematics teacher.

Amazing Quick Growing Stubble:

Today, my Pre-Calculus students were working on a lab involving Newton’s Law of Cooling utilizing Log properties.  Given three types of containers, the students had to use Newton’s formula to decide which one cooled the hot coffee the quickest yet kept it warm the longest.  Indeed this lab was as fun as it sounds!

One group was sitting close to my teacher desk.  A female from this group remarked that she saw my face grow a beard right in front of her eyes.  I’ll admit that I was a bit perplexed by this comment, but other than a shrug, I didn’t give her remark much thought.  I had a very busy day and by the time I swam laps at my pool, took Josh to his physical trainer, ran errands and then took Josh to his chimers class (don’t ask), it was nearly 7:00 p.m.  I hadn’t been home yet, I hadn’t eaten, and I was totally drained of energy.  When I entered my bathroom, I noticed that my razor blade was sitting on the vanity.  That is when it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I shave every single day of my life before going to work.  But for some bizarre reason, I got sidetracked this morning when I was getting ready, and I completely forgot to shave.  I reached up and touched my face, and I felt rough stubble all over my chin.  I always wondered if you could see beards growing (like garden seedlings sprouting), because if I go two days without shaving, I get a full covering of funky fuzz on my face.  Apparently, because I missed shaving, the student had actually witnessed the growth right in front of her eyes.  This cracked me up, and it took me quite awhile to get a grip after laughing hysterically.

Emergency Towels:

As I have already mentioned, one of my routines involves swimming laps for exercise.  Today, I was at the pool, and I had only accomplished one lap when the alarm system went off.  The lifeguards made us evacuate the pool and go towards the emergency exit.  I had actually envisioned this scenario a few times in the past.  What would it be like to be forced outside in a bathing suit on a cold day?  At least it wasn’t the dead of winter.  Nevertheless, the temperature had started to drop into the upper 40’s.  A burlesque lady approached my half naked rag-tag group of evacuees.  She told us that we could not go to the dressing room to get our clothes but tried to ease our fears by telling us that we would be provided with emergency body wrap towels.  The alarm continued to sound, I began to shiver and I feared what I would look like in a body wrap towel.  Thankfully, the alarm ceased shortly after the speech of promised emergency towels, and we were permitted to reenter the pool.  I guess I’ll have to wait until the next crisis at the Friendship Center to experience the use of my very own body wrap towel.  Without a doubt, I will be swimming on the day and time when that event actually happens!

Jay

 

April 22, 2009

“Your Heart Belongs to Me” by Dean Koontz (a Jay Book Review)

Often, I am provided with reading material by an English teacher (Sue) at the high school where I teach.  I was surprised when one of the books Sue placed in my school mailbox was by author Dean Koontz.  I have probably read almost as many books by Koontz as I have read by Stephen King during my lifetime.  However, I did eventually grow weary of Koontz, and I haven’t read one of his novels in quite some time.  My favorite Koontz book was entitled “The Voice of the Night“.  It was the first book that I had ever read during a single sitting.  Shortly after Kathy and I got married, we moved into a town home complex.  One carefree afternoon (I hope to get some ‘carefree’ back into my life someday) we went to the pool at our complex.  I opened to the first page of “The Voice of the Night” and I just couldn’t stop until way after the sunburn had painted me a deep red and my corneas were singed by ultra violet light.  I still recommend  “The Voice of the Night“  for those people not familiar with Koontz.  Along with the novel “Intensity“, “The Voice of the Night” was Koontz writing fiction at his very best.

So what did I think of  “Your Heart Belongs to Me“?  It was the first book I have ever read that shattered the apparent initial plot without disappointing me.  It was the first book that contained a deep subtext even though it had an entire section that literally discussed the meaning of subtext in other novels.  It was the first book that changed directions with alarming speed, and then picked a more enriching highway for the final journey.  It was also the first book to take an indolent theme and pierce me through my own heart with some otherwise deep context that I never saw coming.

My wife always tells me that I worry about all the things that might never happen even though I seldom have any idea about the things that might actually truly impact my life.  For example, a person worries that the in flight snack will taste bad when ultimately the plane falls from the sky and crashes into a desolate field.  This taciturn world throws us curve balls at a whim, so how we live our lives matters more than any perceived image we may exude.  Alas, worry causes paranoia and concern for personal well being can actually create self-centered hypocrisy, cowardice and meaninglessness.  I think I garnered something deep from this book’s prose.  Perhaps all of us need to be more involved with humankind.  We need to give our heart to others and make the same sacrifices that God did when he gave up his son Jesus.  We need to be less concerned about our individual needs (and especially wants) and allow ourselves to serve the needs of those around us.   The main character in this novel never even realized his responsibility to serve fellow humans.  In fact, until a situation arose to alter his false image, he never even realized that he was living a lie.  I truly felt the impact on the main character when he was faced with the repercussions of his life style.  I bought into his paranoia and probably even agreed with his actions.  So the ending was transformational, allowing this novel to be much deeper than the average work of fiction.  While being entertained and entranced by a thriller, I was also slapped across the face with a dose of reality.  The complexities of human behavior were explored by Koontz in a thoroughly convincing manner worthy of many psychologists, theologians and average Joe’s.  Thanks for the recommendation Sue!

Jay’s Grade:  A-

April 18, 2009

Jay Review’s “Beat the Reaper” by Josh Bazell

“Beat the Reaper”

By Josh Bazell

This book quickly took its spot in my own personal top-ten list for the best book of all time. Do you remember your reaction to the best story you ever heard? You salivated at the description of the characters and reveled in every tiny detail of the protagonists’ trials and tribulations. A story this good wipes out your need to drink, eat, sleep or even breathe. Sure such stories are rare and unfortunately story tellers with such magical verbiage are scarce. Not anymore! Josh Bazell is an actual resident at the University of California in San Francisco and he is writing books. How he found time to create such a masterpiece is totally perplexing to me (ironically he is now working on a second novel based on some of the same characters in his first book). The story revolves around an intern named Peter Brown. If only interns on television had Brown’s back story then perhaps “E.R.” and “Grey’s Anatomy” might have been worth watching. Now in witness protection, Brown’s origins developed out of a desire to seek revenge for the death of his Grandparents and quickly led to a sordid life as a mafia hit man. When things got incredibly out of control (excuse me because I just shuttered when I thought about my favorite scene involving a shark tank), Brown was forced to enter the witness protection program where he ended up becoming a doctor. I suppose Brown thought he could make up for all of his wrongs and the loss of his only love by practicing medicine and swapping from a killer to a healer. However, Brown’s internship is at a hospital in New York that functions much like the mafia itself and could be the cause of more deaths than cures. Halfway through the action, mayhem and violence, I gasped at the idea that “Beat the Reaper” could ultimately be one of the biggest blockbuster movies ever made. Ironically, I just found out that a big screen adaption is already in the works with its producer and leading star in place: Leonardo DiCaprio. But please don’t wait for the movie. You owe yourself this adventure; this wickedly, dastardly entertaining thrill ride. I do have to warn you that during the final dozen or so pages, I actually dry heaved and was forced to put my head between my legs while I waited for my son to finish swim practice. Yes, Bazell is this powerful of a writer. I’m fairly sure most of you are captivated enough to grab your own copy of the very adult oriented “Beat the Reaper”. But  if the stupendous story isn’t enough to entice, perhaps Bazell’s ability to teach you amazing things about medicine, the mafia and other trivia through the use of carefully (and entertainingly) placed footnotes might. You will laugh, learn, cringe, and gasp but ultimately you will celebrate a new master of fiction: Josh Bazell. So get the book and read it already!

A++

Jay

April 7, 2009

Beat the Reaper Web Site